OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
