My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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