Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
