there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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