Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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