sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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