my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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