maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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