You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
