yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
