I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
