Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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