Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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