But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
