Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
