How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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