Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
