just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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