i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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