You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
