I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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