why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
