so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
