there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
