I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
