mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
