You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
