My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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