i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You dont lie about slip and slides
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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