you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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