So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
