is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
