is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
