Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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