please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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