While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
