you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
