I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
