After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
