Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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