hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
