hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
