I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
