I love black thongs
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
