She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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