if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
