how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
