you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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