just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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