Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
