She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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