Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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