i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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