I think im going to throw up on grandma
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
