I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
