I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
