I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We left an ass print on the piano.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
