stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize