just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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