but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
